Words are everything

Uncomprehending

This past weekend we went back to Nick's house for his dad's birthday. It was a small party, and it was nice to see his siblings. Even though they weren't mean to me this time, I still wonder whether I would want to have them as parents-in-law.

What kinds of things?

They were furious that Nick's sister had bought a bed and bookcase off craigslist without consulting them. When they told her they would be down to UCLA, and if she needed anything, just ask...she asked them to help her move from her summer sublet to her apartment for the year. She needed to move a bed, a desk, and a bookcase. Not a heavy or numerous load by any means.

After the party, in front of an aunt and uncle and us, they told her she should have never bought the bookcase, and that if she asked them to help her move it, they would sell it instead. Then they said they had never offered to help her move in the first place. ??? When reminded the exact words they used, the parents backtracked and said, well, we're not moving a bookcase or a bed. How do you expect us to do that?

I was incredulous at what I was hearing. What the heck was she supposed to sleep on? The cheap air mattress they bought her? She didn't even ask them for the money to buy these things. When Nick's mom said that a relative had made a bookcase out of pieces of wood and blocks, I almost lost it. Are planks and cinder blocks really easier to move than a cheap Ikea bookcase? I don't think so.

Nick and his brothers just kind of stood by and one tried to reason his parents...but to no avail. I just can't believe how stubborn and unwilling to help their children these people are sometimes, and they think they're the best parents in the world.

Also, Nick's mom had tried to thank me for helping Nick out financially earlier in the year. I thought this was a good sign . . . but then she said that they would have rather had him at home because they didn't want to pay for another apartment when he wasn't going to school anymore anyway. I wanted to point out that they didn't exactly care prior to when he was at home and had hardly given him anything to live on, and that they only realized he needed some kind of financial support when they tried to convince him to stay at home. But I kept my mouth shut.

I just can't comprehend this kind of behavior. With the kind of person I am, I wanted to tell them they were being ridiculously stupid about the bookcase, and that they were embarrassing themselves by claiming publicly they had never offered to help their daughter. I also wanted to tell Nick's mom that I didn't appreciate the backhanded thanks, when it was obvious they would have rather had him home instead.

When thinking about the future... do I really want my kids' grandparents to be like that?

posted by Sharona @ 9:27 PM