Words are everything

New lows

I am so fucking pissed at Nick right now, I had to vent about it on my blog. I try not to do this, but I am really upset.

I flew back today, and the plane was supposed to get in at 8:35pm. Nick knew this, and he also knows how I hate to come down the escalator without him there to meet me. It makes me sad and impatient. So he promised to be there.

Well, when I called at around 5:15pm, he said he was going to play basketball with his coworkers, and would be back around 7. I made sure he would be there waiting for me.

My plane landed about 10 minutes early, and I was very excited to be home since I had been at LAX since 4:30 (my flight wasn't until 7:10). I go down the escalator...no Nick. He comes running in 10 minutes later, and when I ask him why he was late, he says a basketball game ran late. In response I say "No basketball for two weeks." He says, what?!!

In the car I press for more details, and ask him if it was logical to stop early and say, "Hey, I gotta go pick Sharon up at the airport. Sorry guys!" He says it is. I ask him why he didn't, and he doesn't really have an answer for me, except that he doesn't like to leave in the middle of games. Finally I ask if he would rather be late to pick me up than cut out early. He says yes.

I just about lost it there. I was so pissed. I did not speak another word to him the entire ride home.

When we got home, I told him to disregard what I said earlier about not playing basketball for two weeks. He can play whenever, because I don't care anymore. Obviously he doesn't care about me when it comes to basketball. Basically I felt like I wanted to be able say "I don't give a rat's ass about you anymore" because I felt like that's what he was saying to me.

I mean, we are breaking up in a few months and I suppose we shouldn't be so attached to each other. But in reality, since we live together a lot of things have to be in sync with us. Up until now it was fine, I guess. Today really showed me that I should try to be stronger, more independent, and thicker-skinned.

Yes my plane was early. Yes if it had been on time, this whole thing might have been avoided because he would have been there. However, the principle is that he would put his coworkers and basketball on a higher priority than me when it really came down to it. I mean, how often do I need to be picked up from the airport?? And seriously, don't you think these guys would have understood? Sure they might have ribbed him for it a bit, but deep down, I don't think they would care in the long run.

But I will remember forever.

posted by Sharona @ 9:15 PM